Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Return from Africa: Day 4 of being home

Now what? What's my next step? I thought I had a clearer picture. I had a better idea of what my purpose is. But being back at home now, I feel even more lost than ever. What am I supposed to do with those experiences? What does God want me to do with what I saw, what I learned, what I felt....? How do I tell others. How do I open their hearts like mine has been. How do I change the hearts of those who just don't understand; both believers and non- believers. They don't know what South Africa is like, what the people are like, their circumstances, what real poverty is. I can't expect others to go through the change I did. They didn't get the opportunity that I did. I've changed, I've grown, and I come back and everything is still the same. No one else changed. And it's ridiculous for me to think that they would have.
What's God's purpose for me? What is God doing through me? How am I to fulfill what He wants of me when I don't know what that is? Am I on the right path? I'm unclear of the direction He's pulling me in. Can I get some help, please? Something, anything so that I can better serve you, Lord.

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