Friday, September 24, 2010

Blessing in Disguise

Here's another thing..... I recently turned 26. How the hell did that happen? 26!? I mean, that's almost ancient!! lol
When I was months away from turning 25 I was freaking out. Literally. I was a wreck. I remember my dad asking me "what's going on with you? you're so short lately on the phone, I can hardly talk to you without you getting all snippy"
Well, what was wrong with me.... I was unhappy with my life, that's what!
My response "well dad, I'm about to be 25, I moved back home (with mom and step dad), I hate my job, I'm nowhere near getting married and I thought for sure I'd be married by now, I can hardly support myself, I'm a re-born born again Christian, in which you'd think life would be easier, but it's not, life is far more complicated, way more difficult, and it just raises a whole other set of questions ....... I really need to do some soul searching.... I'm a mess. What am I doing with my life.....?" My father saying that, really asking me what was wrong, was a huge eye opener for me. I can always count on my dad to be the voice of reason.
Just a few months later, God answered many of my questions, in different ways.
I met a boy. Well, I met a man.......but since we techincally met at Disneyland, I think it's more accurate to say I met a boy. (love you Jacob)
He changed my life. No, I'm not saying that he completed me, because no one can do that. But, he's exactly what I was missing. He added to my life in a way that I never thought was possible. Unfortunately and fortunately, I lost my job just about a week after we became "official" so that added to stress of our relationship. Oh, I think I failed to mention that he lived in Los Gatos, which means I entered myself right into a long distance relationship. Oooo, fun!
I hated my old job anyhow, but it really was not how I wanted things to go. It would have been nice to end things on my own terms but since I had spent 2 years just sittin there being miserable God decided "well, since you're not going to look for another job that would make you happy, and you'd rather sit here wasting your life, guess what? I'm going to pull that right out from underneath you". And yes, that's exactly what He said.
I spent about 9 months doing a lot of soul searching, crying, falling in love, dealing with depression, trying to break things off with the love of my life, crying some more, job searching, more soul searching, sending resumes, flying up North, driving to and from San Diego airport (both joyous and depressing) missing my boyfriend, some more crying, loosing myself, finding myself, and really figuring out who my true friends are.
During the time of crying, applying for jobs and soul searching, I stumbled across an amazing organization called Oasis Haven. Long story short, we put on a concert, formed a small group which became our board and now we're going to South Africa in just a couple of weeks. Life is completely sureal. I had no idea this is where my life would lead. Life is full of surprises.
Stay tuned..... I plan to make this more of a regular habit.
Those never stick though,'s hoping!!
After thought....... 26, ain't all that bad ;)



  1. You meant me when talking about those grammar Nazi's, didn't you?

  2. Yes, I did. And I removed it now from my post. So there!!

  3. you could have just edited it... but it's your blog, do what you like.

  4. Once I edited it there was no need for it. You're still a grammar Nazi though ;)